Not Another Fairytale

Don’t you hate it that one person, one single person, who used to never mean a damn thing to you, now all of a sudden means the world? Even months after breaking up, you can’t help but still ache for them, for what you had, for how you felt while you were with them.

It’s ridiculous. It’s absolutely ridiculous how much I still care for this girl. I’ve known her for a shorter amount of time than any one of my friends (the ones who have stuck around), yet for some reason I care more deeply about her than any of them.

I shouldn’t. I should’ve walked out a long time ago. After the one millionth time I cried over her, I should have let it go and given up. My life would be so much easier right now. But I’m a glutton for punishment. Always have been, always will be. And she’s the prime example of my self-torture.

I just can’t let her go. Even now, during the moments where I want to scream and throw my phone across the room, I know I’ll keep holding on.

The scary party is, I can’t imagine my life without her. So I endure all of the drama, the weird moods, the fights, the times she’s so adorable I want to kiss her, just to keep her there. I am still sacrificing for her, and I don’t know how to stop.

As I sit on the floor, head in my hands, I realize I don’t want to stop.